Monday, May 30, 2016

Memorial Day 16

Hmm, such an auspicious day to revisit my old blog. You see, I buried it a long time ago...a lifetime really. And to even consider it again was very strange; like wanting to speak to your parent that passed years ago, or your ex-spouse in terms that only they would actually get.

Yet, here I am, and I am once again starting out running. Starting over for the Nth time. Remembering the joys that came from the run, not just the "runner's high" but just the childlike joy in movement. In finding one's stride and breath, knowing that for a while there is only you and the others around--I run alone most of the time very early in the morning. I miss the feeling of finally getting "warmed up" at about a mile or two in, and feeling like I could run all day from about miles 4 to 12. I miss long runs, I miss ice baths. Sick and wrong though they may be.

I did not run today. I ran yesterday. I missed my morning run and put in the time in the afternoon. I am supposed to run tomorrow, but it might wait until Wednesday. I will have to wait and see. Work beckons at 5:00 am and that means I am out the door in a vehicle by 4:30....I'm still awake, so no chance of a 3:00 am run. I would rather miss the run than fall asleep during my three hour drive to where I am working tomorrow.  I will likely put in the miles on Wednesday. That is fine. I am starting over, so it is run-walk for me for now.

I miss this. All of this. And, yet, part of me is fearful of it as well.

Until next time....

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